yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
