So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He better not be in your backpack
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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