need another drink. this is the easiest way
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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