plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
why is half of my head shaved?
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