As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize