I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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