My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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