Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
