I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
