You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
