There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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