Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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