dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
