i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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