butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
