office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
