and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
