I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
