Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
