And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
