No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize