Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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