we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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