I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
