Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
