i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
