he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
