8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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