She said her name was "party"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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