I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
