nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
