Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Randomize
