dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
