idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
