That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
