i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
