Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
