i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize