Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
