im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
sex in a hospital.. check
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
