Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
