It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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