he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
