he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
