New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
