Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
