Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
