I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
