Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Randomize
