You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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