I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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