used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
