i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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