That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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