unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
