just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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