Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
