She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
