dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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