A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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