hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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