I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
